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Jokes
Nov 2, 2003 7:58:31 GMT -5
Post by ADM RFNKajun on Nov 2, 2003 7:58:31 GMT -5
[glow=red,2,300] Got a new one for us?[/glow]
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Jokes
Nov 2, 2003 18:54:23 GMT -5
Post by wbozonoz on Nov 2, 2003 18:54:23 GMT -5
A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by
"God bless Mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa." The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?"
The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do." The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.. A few months later
the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this:
> "God bless Mommy, God Bless daddy and good-bye grandma." The next day the grandmother died. Oh my gosh, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side. Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, "God bless Mommy and good-bye daddy."
He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said "I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?" He said "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."
She said "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning the milkman dropped dead on our porch."
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tbj
Gator Bait
It's just a game. Can't we disagree on good terms?
Posts: 19
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Jokes
Nov 3, 2003 20:04:59 GMT -5
Post by tbj on Nov 3, 2003 20:04:59 GMT -5
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgery. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Cuddles has passed away."
The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.
"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat.
The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman.
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"
The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan . . . ."
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Jokes
Nov 15, 2003 23:29:19 GMT -5
Post by ADM RFNWiley on Nov 15, 2003 23:29:19 GMT -5
3 Nuns were walking down the sidewalk when 2 of the Nuns walked into a bar. What did the 3rd Nun do?
< < <scroll down for answer < < < < < < < She ducked!
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Jokes
Nov 15, 2003 23:30:33 GMT -5
Post by ADM RFNWiley on Nov 15, 2003 23:30:33 GMT -5
Q: What's the difference between meat and fish?
A: If you beat your fish, it'll die!
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